Think about the Hearts of Our Children this Family Day, February 18

By Nikki Taylor, Senior Manager, Early Years and Family Supports, Oakville Parent-Child Centre

“Children must never work for our love; they must rest in it.”
Dr. Gordon Neufeld, Developmental Psychologist   

 

As a young child, I recollect watching my parents as they played, celebrated, and worked with friends and family. When I think back, I remember happy and joyful adults who enjoyed being together in the good times and bad. It provided me with a great sense of security, a belief that I could trust adults; that I belonged with them and they would take care of me. I was relaxed, knowing I was safe. In the words of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, I could “rest in the relationship”.  Security created a space where I felt protected from stresses in life and could focus my energy on the important things in childhood. My parents helped to keep my heart soft because they had soft hearts.

Interdependence is defined as “the state of being dependent upon one another”. Deep down we know that we are better together. We crave connection and belonging, yet are often confused by the dichotomy created by the commonly-held view that strength and competence require independence and self-sufficiency. If we believe this, we can resist connecting with others and receiving their support.  We can fear that trust and vulnerability might be judged and criticized. Over time, this fear can be too much and a “wall” grows to protect our hearts .

Nature has designed us to be interdependent and it is our deep, caring relationships that keep our hearts soft and vulnerable. Those of us who influence, teach and raise children require soft and vulnerable hearts to do the job well.  Brene Brown’s parenting manifesto PDF is one of my favorite parenting resources and speaks to the need to be vulnerable, authentic, make mistakes and love unconditionally.

I love a challenge and here is one for you.  On Family Day, this Monday, February 18, allow your children to experience a day where you have put away distractions and are focused on what really matters.

  • Let them feel what it is like to be truly seen.
  • Smile and say hello, even to strangers.
  • Let your guard down, put your phone down, and spend some time in the present moment.
  • Light up when they walk in the room.
  • When they look at you, make sure you are looking back at them with kind eyes and a soft heart.

The only thing that matters to them is knowing that they exist, that they are important, and are worthy of your time, attention and love. At the end of the day when it’s quiet – reflect. I suspect you may find more inner peace, less stress, and happier children. And I bet everyone will sleep more soundly…and little softer too.

Happy Family Day from my family to yours.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”
Jane Howard, journalist    

 

Youth Activism in North Oakville Attracts Additional Funds to Expand OKN’s Halton Youth Initiative

By Siobhan Laverdiere, North Oakville Youth Initiative Project Coordinator

Over the past year and a half since the North Oakville Youth Development Council (NOYDC) started meeting, the young members have made great strides. They have raised awareness of the importance of valuing youth in the community. They have demonstrated the significance of meaningful and supportive relationships between youth and adults. And have advocated for providing safe spaces for youth to gather.

At the NOYDC, youth in grades 7 to 10 collaborate with adult allies from community organizations. They play an active role on the council; not only sharing their thoughts and ideas, but also guiding decision making to set and meet objectives.

It is because of this amazing, community-based youth activism, that Our Kids Network (OKN) recently received a three-year Ontario Trillium Foundation grant to expand the Halton Youth Initiative. This new funding will help to engage and involve more Halton youth in the North Oakville area and to broaden the scope of the initiative to Acton, Aldershot, and Milton through the OKN Community Hubs.

The Halton Youth Initiative Youth Asset-Builder, Lily Viggiano, and I will be working closely with all four communities to develop and support youth-led activities and provide opportunities for meaningful relationships with adult allies. Another important objective will be to ensure that youth have the experience of participating in positive change within their own neighbourhoods.

We’re very excited to be a part of raising in youth voice in each of these communities!

NOYDC Building on Success in 2019

In 2018 the NOYDC focussed on connecting and engaging the community and gathering information from youth on hangout spaces:

  • Youth Talks: Hear Us Out a youth-led event that provided the opportunity for youth to speak out and connect with adults.
  • North Oakville Youth Survey: 94 youth participated to provide the Town of Oakville with their ideas and suggestions on youth hangout spaces
  • Family & Youth Skate Night: This event promoted awareness about the importance of a caring neighbourhood for youth to thrive. The Oakville Beaver covered this event!

In 2019, the NOYDC plans to build on their past success and to continue work on their three key objectives:

  1. To advise on, and help to increase, more unstructured hangout space for North Oakville youth
  2. Build meaningful relationships between adults and youth, so youth can feel even more valued in our community
  3. Help to make youth more aware of resources in their community

For more information about the Halton Youth Initiative and the North Oakville Youth Development Committee visit Youth Voices Matter Community Initiative or contact Siobhan Laverdiere, North Oakville Youth Initiative Project Coordinator at siobhan@ourkidsnetwork.ca

 

We can Count on Each Other in 2019!

Worth repeating…

This blog was distributed as the year-end message to our network in December. We can’t say thanks enough so here it is again for anyone who missed it in their inbox!

By Beth Williams, Our Kids Network Communications Manager

Our Kids Network people are creating a hopeful future for Halton children and youth. In 2018 we saw steady progress and it’s clear in our many initiatives and activities that, as a network, we are more connected and aligned in our work. We are intentional when putting knowledge into practice, and we are seeing the results in our data, planning and action going forward.

Thank you for your contributions throughout 2018. As Our Kids Network, we have much to be proud of and we can count on each other continue to be as involved and committed in 2019 as we were in 2018!

2018 Highlights: Our Kids Network’s Committees and Community-based Groups

Acton Early Years 4th Annual Kindergarten Fun Fair at Prospect Park on Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Relationships Help Us Sink or Swim! Eastview PS student video on how relationships with family, friends and peers make a difference in their lives.

Data is Delicious! Rudy the turnip explains why it’s so important for community members to do surveys so children, youth and families can thrive.

Kids are Excited to Start School and to Connect, Play and Learn, Every Day! 1300 activity bags were given to new students at kindergarten and community events.

2015-2016 Tell Them From Me / OurSCHOOL surveys give us important knowledge about the wellbeing of children and youth in Halton. Elementary  Secondary

Youth Voices Matter! The North Oakville Youth Development Council (NOYDC), established by youth and aided by adult allies, engaged the community in creating positive change in the neighbourhood and beyond.

Asset-Builders Tell their Stories. Five Halton asset-builders tell their exceptional stories about what building assets means to them.

Learn much more about Our Kids Network on our website.

HO HO HOLD Everything!

By Mary Tabak, Our Kids Network Developmental Assets Manager

It’s easy to get caught up in all the excitement of the holidays.  We can get overwhelmed with all the ads, decorations…and our children coming up with lists of “things” they want for the holidays. Let’s slow it down for a moment and reflect on what the holidays really mean to you.

How your holidays will look, sound and feel this year is up to you. You can choose what is really important and how you want to celebrate it.

Some considerations for when you’re making plans…

Spending lots of money?                    OR                   Spending lots of time with loved ones?

Most stressful time of year?                OR                   Most meaningful time of year?

House full of decorations?                  OR                   House full of family and friends?

Giving gifts from the store?                 OR                   Giving gifts from the heart?

A time to clash with family?                 OR                   A time to build or repair relationships?

Focus on getting?                               OR                   Focus on giving?

Eating lots of food?                             OR                   Sharing lots of food?

Standing in line?                                 OR                   Standing up for what you believe in?

Counting gifts?                                    OR                   Counting blessings?

In thinking about our work with Developmental Relationships, let’s make some space for relationships to thrive through the holidays and all year round.

Express Care                          Invite someone who is alone to your table.

Challenge Growth                   Continue an old family tradition or start a new one.

Provide Support                      Find a charity and commit to it as a family.

Share Power                           Encourage the children to help in menu planning.

Expand Possibilities                Visit and explore a small town in Ontario.

Kids hugging thier grandpa

For more information about Developmental Relationships and asset-building, visit www.ourkidsnetwork.ca/Relationships

 

 

Put Play (and Rest) at the Top of your List for National Child Day Tuesday, November 20

By Mary Tabak, Our Kids Network Developmental Assets Manager

Playing was like a job for me when I was a child. I did it every day. And anywhere I went, children were playing. There were very few structured, scheduled activities. Play was just what kids did back then, no matter where we were or whom we were with. Well, until we dropped from exhaustion with a big smile on our faces…and then we slept soundly.

The United Nations has designated November 20th as National Child Day. This day is an opportunity to reflect on how we can advocate, promote and celebrate children’s rights to make Halton and the world a better place for them.

We know that play and rest are vital to positive child development, but did you know that, according to the UN Convention on the Rights of a Child, children have the right to play and rest? Just as they have the right to basic needs such as food, shelter, safety, protection and education.

Considering this, our challenge is to prioritize play and rest in our tightly-scheduled, high -stress, plugged-in world. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

PLAY

  • Find a place at home to keep a puzzle going for days.
  • Turn the music on. Maybe someone will start to dance!
  • Waiting for laundry to dry? Grab a Frisbee and go outside.
  • Teach the dog a new trick together
  • Leave board games out and visible.
  • Organize a scavenger hunt in the park.
  • Get down on the floor and build something (with Lego, cards, pillows or anything handy and safe).

Children playing outside

 

Mother playing with her son in the back yard.

REST

  • Turn lights down in the evening.
  • Continue a bedtime routine as children grow up.
  • Limit screen time in bedrooms for everyone.
  • Encourage short naps as needed.
  • Model rest, relaxation and rejuvenation.
  • Keep bedrooms and bedtimes stress-free.
  • Take your vacation time.

A child’s right to play and rest is making a comeback.  Be part of the movement!

For more information and ideas on parenting, playing and sleep, visit haltoniparent.ca. Follow us @Haltoniparent

More information and resources related to National Child Day are available through the Public Health Agency of Canada at canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/childhood-adolescence/national-child-day.html  UNICEF Canada also provides resources at unicef.ca/ncd, including a kid-friendly poster that lists the rights outlined in the UN Convention.